


there is an ocean in your hips

by bi_lovely



Series: we're secretly out of control [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Enjolras, Drunk Sex, Feelings, M/M, Top Grantaire, bottom!jolras, enjolras gets real emo, grantaire is a mess but we love him anyway, grantaire's perspective, just a lil bit, like way more angst than i intended for there to be, top!taire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 23:33:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9210251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_lovely/pseuds/bi_lovely
Summary: "No, just listen to me!" Enjolras snapped at him. "For once in my life I want to get so drunk I don't remember any of this in the morning! I want to be so hungover that I'm late for class on fucking Monday! I want to wake up sore tomorrow morning because I let someone fuck me so hard and so rough and just let them fucking use me!"OrEnjolras gets really drunk and Grantaire is worried that he'll regret everything he wants when he's drunk once he's sober.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pantasticlams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantasticlams/gifts).



> title is from "overwhelming" by jon bellion
> 
> (if you would like to apply to edit my future fanfictions and work with me, give me some second opinions, and help me out in places where I need to touch up the story then please copy and paste the link below to fill out the application form  
> https://goo.gl/forms/MjwceEHAhTdcp2Xf2 )

Grantaire was pissed. 

No, on second thought, he was more than pissed. He was mad, he was angry, he was  _ livid _ . 

He had homework to do, he had freaking midterms to study for, and he wanted _sleep_ _dammit!_

Now, Courfeyrac knew all of this perfectly well because it was all Grantaire had been talking about literally all day, but somehow he still felt the need to bug Grantaire to go to some party at a frat house so damn much that Grantaire agreed to go just so that he would shut up. 

There had been a time when Grantaire would have been happy to stay out all night and party and get blackout drunk and wake up in bed with a stranger who he'd never see again, but that time had passed him by. He wasn't really sure when that had happened, or how. It felt like he went to bed one night with the intention of going out to get wasted the next night, but then when he woke the next morning all the appeal had gone from the idea. 

Well, getting drunk still seemed like a pretty great idea. 

So anyway, he was at this stupid party and now Courfeyrac was nowhere to be found. 

Probably off somewhere screwing Combeferre, Grantaire thought bitterly. 

He spotted Marius, but he was preoccupied with a blonde girl who was kissing him senseless. Joly was engaged in what looked to be a very serious game of beer pong. 

Grantaire scanned both the kitchen and the living room for Eponine but she was nowhere to be found. 

_ Well, _ he thought to himself,  _ at least there's free booze. _

He grabbed a beer from the kitchen and went to find an empty spot on a couch, wedging himself between several couples with their tongues down each other's throats.  

He sat there, alone with his alcohol, muttering bitterly to himself about all the terrible things he was going to do to Courfeyrac next time he saw him. But he was interrupted by a shout of, "Grantaire! What're you doing here?" 

Grantaire scanned the room, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. His gaze landed on a familiar blond man stumbling toward him. A man who he had never seen looking anything less than pristine, now stumbling toward him with his shirt untucked and his black tie loose around his neck.

The blond grinned and placed both of his knees on the couch on either side of Grantaire's lap, sitting himself down there and making himself comfortable. 

"Um, Enjolras?" Grantaire raised his eyebrows. 

"Yep, that's me," Enjolras giggled. 

"What're you doing?" Grantaire asked. 

"I came over to say hi to you, silly goose." Enjolras booped Grantaire's nose then wrapped his arms loosely around Grantaire's neck. "Is that okay with you?" 

"Uh, yeah," Grantaire said slowly. "Um, Enj?"

"Mm?" Enjolras said in a distracted sort of way as he curled Grantaire's dark hair around his fingertips and admiring the way it looked. 

"Have you been drinking?" 

"Sure have," Enjolras smiled. "Don't get all judgy-wudgy with me me about a little alcohol, 'Taire. All you ever do is drink." 

"I'm sorry, did you just say ' _ judgy-wudgy _ '?" Grantaire quickly coughed to cover up the obnoxious snort snort that escaped his lips. 

"Sure did," Enjolras nodded. "Come on, Grantaire. Come have a drink with me." 

"I think you've had enough to drink," Grantaire raised his eyebrows. 

"Well, you haven't," Enjolras said, eyeing the half drunk bottle of beer in Grantaire's hand. "Go on, finish it off." 

"What if I don't want to?" Grantaire asked challengingly. 

"Do it," Enjolras chuckled. "Come on." 

"I feel peer pressured," Grantaire joked and if Enjolras wasn't so plastered he would have rolled his eyes dramatically and said something along the lines of, " _ You, of all people, do not need to be peer pressured into drinking. _ " 

But he was plastered, so instead of making a comeback he just raised the bottle to Grantaire's mouth, watched his lips wrap around the neck of the bottle with a look in his eyes that sort of resembled fascination, he tipped the bottle back, and watched the way Grantaire's Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped down the beer. 

Enjolras tossed the bottle aside carelessly when the drink was gone. 

Grantaire was already starting to feel that familiar buzz, in his brain and under his skin, his blood seemed warmer running through his veins, and he grew even hotter a second later when Enjolras ground down against him. 

"Enjolras, what're you —" 

"I want you, Grantaire," Enjolras cut him off. 

"Um," Grantaire blinked. "Excuse me?" 

Enjolras leaned in so that his mouth was up against Grantaire's ear. "I want you to take me to your bed or my bed or any fucking bed and I want you to hold me down and fuck me until I —"

"Okay, I'm going to need you to stop right there," Grantaire interrupted quickly. 

It was weird enough that Enjolras was drunk — he never got drunk, not like this at least — but coming onto Grantaire and whispering obscenities in his ear was a whole other level of insanity. 

"Enjolras, you're really drunk," Grantaire said. "I don't know what you were thinking, but you've had too much to drink. I'm taking you back to your dorm. Come on, get —"

"Would you please shut the hell up?" Enjolras squinted his eyes at Grantaire. "And stop with the double standards. You get blackout drunk all the time. All of you, you all get wasted, and what about me? I have a beer, or maybe a glass of wine, and that's it. Then I make sure everyone gets home safe, I go back to my dorm, I do my homework, and I put together rallies and petitions and I sleep for a few hours and that's it. That's all I ever do." 

"Enjol—"

"No, just  _ listen to me! _ " Enjolras snapped at him. "For once in my life I want to get so drunk I don't remember any of this in the morning! I want to be so hungover that I'm late for class on fucking  _ Monday! _ I want to wake up sore tomorrow morning because I let someone fuck me so hard and so rough and just let them fucking  _ use _ me, I want —"

"Okay, Enj, but people are staring," Grantaire hissed. "You're upset, I get it, but let's go back to your dorm, okay?"

"I just want to be a college student for one night," Enjolras buried his face in the crook of Grantaire's neck. "I want to be normal for one fucking night." 

"Okay," Grantaire nodded. "You will be, okay? We'll — I don't know — just come on. Please." 

Enjolras looked at him, bottom lip stuck out. "You'll stay with me tonight?" 

"Yes," Grantaire nodded. 

Enjolras sighed, then nodded. "Okay, let's go." He slid off of Grantaire's lap, tried to stand up, wobbled for a second or two, then fell over. 

"Jesus Christ," Grantaire hissed, getting to his feet and pulling Enjolras up with him. "Come on, let's get you home." 

"With you," Enjolras giggled while he allowed Grantaire to literally drag him toward the front door. 

"Yeah, with me," Grantaire said, navigating his way through the sweaty bodies that reeked of alcohol.

"'Ey! Enj'ras! Gr'taire!" Joly came staggering toward the two of them. "Where're ya goin'?!" 

"Shit, I thought Enjolras was drunk, but look at you, Joly," Grantaire sighed. 

Joly smirked lazily. "Yer a funny man, 'Taire." 

"Thanks," Grantaire nodded. "I've got to get Enjolras back to his dorm. He's not feeling well."

"Looks fine to me," Joly raised his eyebrows. 

"I am fine!" Enjolras yelled. 

"See? Told you!" Joly shouted. 

"He's lying," Grantaire accused.

"Am not!" Enjolras snapped. "But we're going back to my dorm to sleep together! Isn't that ex—"

"Okay!" Grantaire said. "I think it's time for you to shut up now! Let's go! Goodbye!" 

"Ye, boys! Go get it!" Joly shouted after them and Grantaire walked a little faster as all the eyes around them turned in their direction. 

***

"Combeferre won't be back for hours," Enjolras said as he and Grantaire stumbled into his dorm room. Enjolras shut the door behind himself and leaned against it, running one hand through his blond hair. "He might not even be home 'til morning, you know how he likes to stay places to just watch Courf all night long. I swear to god if the two of them don't fuck soon they're going to explode." 

"Do you still have that little coffee machine in here?" Was Grantaire's response. 

"Why?" Enjolras tilted his head. 

"Because you need some black coffee to sober you up," Grantaire said. 

"No!" Enjolras growled, slammed his fist against the door. "Did you listen to anything I said?! I want to be hungover! I want to be sore! I want to be normal! Listen to me, Grantaire!" 

"Okay, okay, okay!" Grantaire said. "Calm down, okay? I'm listening." 

"You're listening," Enjolras repeated. 

"Yes," Grantaire nodded slowly. He sighed, sat down on Enjolras's bed, and reached out one arm. "Come here." 

"Yeah?" Enjolras raised one eyebrow.

"You need to sleep," Grantaire sighed. 

Enjolras tilted his head. "Sleep?"

"Yes." Grantaire nodded. 

"Oh, no," Enjolras shook his head. He straddled Grantaire's lap, ran his fingers through Grantaire's dark hair. "No sleep." 

"Yes sleep," Grantaire raised his eyebrows. 

"No," Enjolras shook his head again. "How many times do I have to say it, 'Taire?" He asked while he ground down against Grantaire's crotch. 

"Ah," Grantaire hissed. 

"Come on, Grantaire, you know you want to," Enjolras leaned in and pressed and chaste kiss to his neck. "Come on, it'll be so good. Please, please, please." 

"Enjolras, you're drunk," Grantaire said softly. "I don't want to do anything that you'll regret when you wake up in the morning, I won't do anything that you wouldn't want when you're sober. I won't take advantage of you." 

"I see the way you're looking at me," Enjolras spoke barely above a whisper, breathing hot against Grantaire's cheek. "Like I'm someone in a bar who's drunk out of their mind, who doesn't know what's going on or what you're doing, who you're forcing yourself onto."

"Enjolras, you need some sleep —"

Enjolras leaned his forehead against Grantaire's forehead and looked him straight in the eyes as he spoke. He reached down between their bodies and tugged at the zipper of Grantaire's jeans. 

Grantaire reacted immediately, reflexively. He grabbed hold of Enjolras' wrist to still his hand. 

"That is not what this is, Grantaire," Enjolras said seriously. "I'm not so drunk I don't know what's happening and you're not coming onto me, I'm coming onto you. I want this — I need this — I'm asking for this, okay?" 

"I'm still not so sure that it's a good idea," Grantaire sighed. "You're really fucking drunk, Enj." 

"I want this, Grantaire, do you understand me?" Enjolras growled. "I fucking want this. How else do you want me to put it? I consent, okay, is that what you want to hear me say?"

"I —"

"I consent to you fucking the everliving shit out of me until I'm so out of it that I can't hear or see or smell or feel anything but you," Enjolras hissed, tearing his wrist out of Grantaire's grip to tug on Grantaire's dark curls. 

"That's not what I'm worried about, Enj," Grantaire frowned. "I don't think for a second that you would do anything that you don't want to do right now, in this moment, but I do think that you're so drunk that you'll do whatever feels good right now even if it'll hurt you later. I know how that feels, Enjolras, so take it from me. I know what it's like to get so drunk that you just want what you want and you want it now but when you wake up you're going to feel like shit." 

"I don't care." Enjolras shook his head. "I really don't."  

"I know you don't," Grantaire frowned. "But you will." 

Enjolras sighed heavily. "If you want this, then believe me and just fucking do it because I want this. But if you don't want this, then just say it." 

Grantaire huffed. "Fine, Enjolras. Fine." 

Enjolras smiled expectantly. 

"I don't want this."

"What?" Enjolras was taken aback. 

"I don't want this." 

"Oh," Enjolras said. "Oh. Okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have — I —" he slid off of Grantaire's lap and sat down on the bed beside him. "I'm sorry, 'Taire, I shouldn't have just assumed that —"

"It's fine," Grantaire said. He shook his head slowly. "Really, it’s fine."

"Okay," Enjolras said. "That's — uh — good." 

Grantaire nodded. "You should sleep." 

"Yeah," Enjolras nodded and look pointedly away from him. "You should go." 

"Enjolras —"

"Just go. Please." 

Grantaire stared at him for several seconds, then huffed, got to his feet. "Okay. Yeah. Whatever you say." 

Grantaire stood there for a solid thirty seconds, waiting for some kind of response, but Enjolras didn't say a word so he strode across the room, walked out the door, and didn't dare to look back. 

***

It was the middle of the next morning, a peaceful Sunday on campus since everyone was sleeping in, and Grantaire had been to every place on campus that he could possibly imagine Enjolras being. 

Enjolras and Combeferre's dorm. The cafeteria. The library. So he'd basically exhausted all of his options. 

"Have you tried calling him?" Eponine asked when Grantaire ran into her in the courtyard. 

"Oh, no! I've been running around campus for an hour looking for him and it completely slipped my mind to  _ call him! _ " Grantaire exclaimed sarcastically, then rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've called him five times, I've left voicemails, I've texted him like fifty times. He's not answering." 

"What exactly did you do?" Eponine crossed her arms and raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"I — well — he was really drunk, see," Grantaire began. 

"He was, or you were?" Eponine look unconvinced. 

"He was!" Grantaire snapped at her defensively. "For once it was him, okay? Anyway, he was really drunk and going on about wanting to be normal or whatever and he just..." Grantaire trailed off, twirling a blade of grass between his fingertips. 

"He what?" Eponine raised her eyebrows expectantly. 

Grantaire sighed. "He asked me to have sex with him." 

"Grantaire, you did not!" Eponine exclaimed in horror. "That is not how you get with the guy you've been literally in love with for two years!" 

"I didn't sleep with him!" Grantaire yelled. 

"I don't believe you!" Eponine raised her voice higher than Grantaire's. 

Grantaire screamed even louder and said, "I didn't do it, I swear!" 

Eponine crossed her arms, tilted her head, and scowled. "Then why would he be avoiding you and ignoring your calls?" 

"Because," Grantaire said and sighed again before diving headfirst into the story of what had happened the night before in Enjolras' dorm room. 

"Okay," Eponine said slowly. "I mean... okay. That's not nearly as bad as it could have been."

"Really?" Grantaire said hopefully. "Well, what makes you say that?" 

"I don't know, I mean, you didn't sleep with him? So that's good?" Eponine sighed. "I don't know, 'Taire, you could've been nicer about it. You could've been calmer. But you didn't sleep with him! And that's really good!" 

"Oh," Grantaire said with yet another sigh, "yeah. I guess. So why do I feel like such a bag of shit?" 

"Because it was awkward," Eponine said. "Listen, just keep looking for him. Find him. Talk to him. Who knows, maybe today will be the day you find out he's just as in love with you as you are with him." 

Grantaire laughed. "Yeah, right. I don't know about that." 

"Hey, you never know," Eponine smiled. 

***

Grantaire was out of options by the time the sun had set and there was another stupid party at the same stupid frat house. He wasn't even sure if he was look for Enjolras or not anymore. He just needed to get drunk. 

Courfeyrac tried to stop him to greet him, but Grantaire just hurried past him. He narrowly dodged Jehan and Joly. He actually had to push a (again) very drunk Combeferre aside to get to the kitchen. 

Two (going on three) pints of beer in under an hour wasn't the best idea in the world, but this certainly wasn't Grantaire's first time around the Mulberry bush. He recognized the strong buzz that was slowing his thought process and lowering his common sense level instantly. He greeted it with anticipation, greeted it like an old friend. 

Time went on and he didn't stop drinking. When did he ever stop drinking, though? 

Answer: he stopped drinking when Enjolras walked up to him. 

Grantaire froze, bottle halfway tipped into his mouth, and for a second he forgot how to breathe because seriously, how perfect could a person be? 

He was like Apollo. He was Apollo. He was the god who could afford help, and the one to ward off evil. 

He was so beautiful — breathtaking, in fact. He was capable of terrible, terrible things and Grantaire knew that. He knew that, quite possibly, better than anyone else did. O, Apollo could send both the plagues that spread and the uncertain art to heal.

Why didn't Grantaire agree to sleep with him, again? He couldn't remember. It seemed like a stupid decision to him now that he had alcohol running through his veins. 

So Enjolras came up behind him while he was drinking, tapped on his shoulder, and Grantaire froze with the beer halfway to his mouth. 

"Hey," Enjolras said, smile crooked and hot and perfect. 

"Hey," Grantaire echoed.

"You wanna get out of here?" Enjolras asked hopefully. 

"God, yes," Grantaire said immediately even though there was a nagging little voice in the back of his head telling him that this was a bad idea, but he couldn't figure out why so he just ignored the stupid thing and followed Enjolras as the blond godlike man took him by the hand and led him toward the door, out onto the lawn, sprinting toward the courtyard that wasn't too far away. 

"Where're we going?" Grantaire asked. 

"My dorm!" Enjolras grinned and Grantaire couldn't help but match his grin. 

Enjolras dragged him all the way to his dorm building, up a flight of stairs, into his room. He slammed the door behind them. 

"You're drunk, 'Taire," Enjolras said, leaning back against the door and trying to catch his breath. He said in a hopeful sort of way. 

"Yep," Grantaire nodded. "So are you."

"Yeah, I am," Enjolras agreed. 

"Do you still wanna —" 

"Mhm." 

"Let's do it." 

"Oh god, really?" Enjolras beamed. 

"I want to feel you, Enj." Grantaire reached for him and pulled him into a deep kiss. "Want you." 

"I want you, too," Enjolras said breathlessly. 

Grantaire grinned, steering Enjolras around to push him down on his own bed. 

"You're so fucking sexy, you know that?" Enjolras watched Grantaire closely as the brunet undid his jeans slowly. "I know you think I never look at you like that but trust me, I do, 'Taire. You're so gorgeous." 

"I didn't think you looked at me at all," Grantaire admitted as he began to peel the skinny jeans off of Enjolras' legs. 

"I do," Enjolras whispered. 

Grantaire smiled. "Good. Great," he said and he slid his fingers beneath the elastic waistband of Enjolras' briefs, dragging them slowly over his thighs. 

Enjolras licked his lips in anticipation. "C'mon, Grantaire."

"What, Enj?" Grantaire tilted his head. 

"Hurry the fuck up," Enjolras hissed. 

"You need to be patient," Grantaire said. 

Enjolras groaned miserably. 

Grantaire threw the underwear to the floor before he reached toward Enjolras' mouth. He slipped his fingers past Enjolras lips wordlessly and circled them around his partner's tongue. 

Enjolras smirked around the digits in his mouth and sucked lightly.

"You're fucking pushy, you know that?" Grantaire raised his eyebrows and pulled his fingers away from Enjolras. 

"Yeah," Enjolras said. 

Grantaire glared at him. "Sit up," he ordered. 

Enjolras obeyed Grantaire without even thinking about it. Grantaire pulled Enjolras' shirt over his head and threw it the to floor. 

"Okay, lay back down," Grantaire said, gently pressing Enjolras down against the pillows. Grantaire leaned over him then, nibbling lightly along his jaw, moving downward to suck a dark bruise on his neck. 

"Careful!" Enjolras shrieked. "Don't do it where it'll be visible!" 

Grantaire looked him in the eyes, head tilted, one eyebrow cocked. "What happened to not caring? What happened to being reckless and stupid?" 

"Well, I never said anything about being stupid," Enjolras muttered but he made no further objections to Grantaire sucking a hickey on his neck that would definitely be visible above his shirt collar in the morning. 

"Oh, my dearest Apollo, how could I have ever denied you?" Grantaire murmured against Enjolras' skin. 

"Why do you always call me that?" Enjolras laughed. "You've never told me."

"You've never asked," Grantaire shrugged. 

"I'm asking now," Enjolras said. 

"Well, do you want me to fuck you or do you want me to recite poetry about the ancient gods of Greece?" Grantaire raised his eyebrows. 

"Both," Enjolras smirked. "At the same time." 

Grantaire laughed. "Maybe next time." 

"Who said there's going to be a next time?" Enjolras asked. 

Grantaire stared at him for a long time, far too drunk to string together a coherent response to that, so instead, in a single swift motion, he slid down his partner's body and swallowed his cock to the hilt. 

Enjolras squeaked and Grantaire would be lying if he said that he didn't feel a rush of pride swelling deep inside of him. He made Enjolras — the great and mighty Enjolras, the unbreakable and invulnerable Apollo, the man made of marble who chooses to bless the mere humans of the earth with his glorious presence —  _ squeak _ . 

" _ Fuck! _ " Enjolras said breathlessly. "Fuck —  _ shit _ — fuck, 'Taire!"

Grantaire pulled off of Enjolras’ dick wit an obnoxious  _ pop.  _ “Yes?” he smirked. 

“Well, don’t  _ stop! _ ” Enjolras exclaimed. 

Grantaire chuckled. He dipped his head down to suck his balls into his mouth. He moved his tongue slowly, licking a stripe up the shaft to wrap his lips around the head. He sunk back down to the base slowly, hollowing his cheeks as he did. 

“Where — how the fuck — did you learn to — blow like — oh my fucking god, I can’t —” Enjolras was breathless, with a thin sheen of sweat coating his forehead. 

“I know, I’m kind of like a sex god or something,” Grantaire sat up and shirked. 

“Why —” Enjolras sucked in a deep breath. “Why’d you  _ stop again? _ ” 

“You want me to fuck you or not?” Grantaire arched one eyebrow. “Because if you come down my throat that’s not going to happen.”

“Okay, okay,” Enjolras nodded. “Okay, do it. Come on.”

Grantaire leaned over Enjolras so that he was whispering right in his ear. “I need a condom and some lube, then.”

Enjolras nodded. He pushed Grantaire off of him and slid off the bed, crossing the room to a desk. He struggled with desk for a moment, digging recklessly through the contents until he found what he was looking for and quickly gave them to Grantaire, crawling back onto the bed. 

“Wow, Enj,” Grantaire laughed. “I’m impressed you’ve got these.”

Enjolras blushed a deep shade of red. “They’re — they’re actually Combeferre’s,” he mumbled. 

“You’re too adorable for your own good,” Grantaire laughed. 

“Whatever,” Enjolras snapped. “Can you just get naked already?”

“Whatever you want,” Grantaire smiled. He slid off the bed, pulled his shirt off and tossed onto the floor to join Enjolras’ clothes. He toed off his shoes and his socks, and his trousers and boxers went next. 

Enjolras’ eyes raked over Grantaire’s bare body slowly, like every inch of Grantaire’s skin was something to behold. 

Grantaire knelt down in between Enjolras’ legs, never taking his eyes off of the blond as he spread lube over his fingers. He barely had one finger in Enjolras’ ass before Enjolras was demanding a second, and then soon after a third. 

“I’m ready, ‘Taire,” Enjolras groaned. “Come on, come on, come  _ on _ .” 

“Are you sure?” Grantaire asked seriously. 

“ _ Yes! _ ” Enjolras yelled. 

“Okay, okay,” Grantaire said. He quickly rolled the condom onto his cock and slicked it with lube. 

“Hurry up,” Enjolras whined. “Hurry  _ up,  _ damn —  _ ah! _ ” 

Grantaire thrust in smoothly, without any word of warning. His body was pressed flush against Enjolras’ body. He breathed heavily in his ear. 

“Oh my god,” Enjolras hissed. “Move, goddamnit,  _ move! _ ” 

Grantaire was trying to take a moment and really think about what was happening. A coherent thought that broke through his drunken haze, broke through the buzzing in his brain: he was  _ inside Enjolras _ . Like,  _ Enjolras _ . The guy he’d been in love with for years. He was just trying to take a moment and comprehend what was happening, appreciate it. 

But, well, he’d never been very good at saying no to Enjolras. Apart from the night before, he’d only managed it a small handful of times. 

So he did as he was told. He began to move. Slowly at first, but his thrusts grew faster, more erratic. He lost any kind of rhythm that he had started out with but he just went for it anyway, instinctively curling his fingers around Enjolras’ cock. 

Enjolras’ nails were digging hard into Grantaire’s skin, dragging them slowly down his back, inevitably leaving deep red scratches. 

“Oh god, Enjolras,” Grantaire groaned. “Oh god, oh fucking god,  _ yes. _ ”

“I — Grantaire — I need to —” 

Just what Enjolras thought he needed to do, Grantaire didn’t get to find out because right at that moment Enjolras came hard, eyes rolling up into the back of his head while he painted his and Grantaire’s stomachs with streaks of white. 

Enjolras couldn’t even think straight but he did manage to grumble internally, just to himself, over the need for a condom as Grantaire followed him over that edge. 

“Next time,” Enjolras said several minutes later when he’d regained the ability to speak and Grantaire was tying up the condom and throwing it away, “maybe . . . no condom.”

“I thought you said there wouldn’t be a next time.” Grantaire raised one eyebrow as he was crawling into bed beside Enjolras. 

Enjolras smiled. “I never said there would be a next time. But I never said there wouldn’t.”

Grantaire snorted. “You’re fucking hammered.”

“So are you.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said and he nodded slowly. “Go to sleep.”

Enjolras smiled at Grantaire one last time before he closed his eyes and succumbed to rest. 

***

Grantaire had fucked up. Grantaire had really fucked up and he knew it. 

_ God _ , how could he be so fucking stupid?

The sun had yet to rise and Grantaire was sorting through the pile of clothes that he and Enjolras had created, doing his best to make sure he didn’t accidentally take any of Enjolras’ shit instead of his own. 

Combeferre still wasn’t back, thank god. All Grantaire needed was for Combeferre to be there to make the situation ten times worse than it already was. 

There was a reason he’d said no to Enjolras on Saturday. There was a  _ good  _ reason, but he blew that. Just like he did everything else in his life. 

Enjolras was going to hate him. Things were never going to be the same. Grantaire would  _ never  _ end up with him now (not that he’d ever really thought he had a chance). 

Grantaire looked back at Enjolras, who was still fast asleep in his bed, as he was heading out the door. He frowned deeply and gave himself a minute to soak in the sight of him because this was probably going to be the last time he saw him before their friendship was ruined forever.

He sighed heavily, shook his head, and set off on the walk of shame, back to his own dorm.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> All the love xx
> 
> (Also happy new year, love you.)


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